In normal life scenarios as Sullivan (197) argues, “marriage is a communal practice that brings families together in a matrimonial celebration, as individuals endeavor to make new homes; form new connected families; filled with love and happiness, as a way of giving life a new perspective”. Therefore, since marriage is the primary determinant of the continuation of the human race in modern day societies, individuals have to use all means at their disposal to take care of their matrimonies, regardless of how complicated they might be. Although this is the case, the scenario is very different in marriages filled with violence, pain or abuse, a fact that necessitates breaking of such marriages, because it is of no use to keep a marriage filled with extreme pain, while individuals can survive happily on their own.
Why Marriages Matter
Considering the current global economic state, which has caused the cost of living to increase in most cases, marriage has become a suitable solution as far as affording a better and quality of life is concerned. Although in life, most individuals use their cherished values and set goals as guiding principles as a mechanism of defining their life patterns, in most cases many external factors, for example the need to have a better life, create variables that alter modes in which they prioritize their values. It is important note that, the alteration in modes of prioritizing values is the primary mechanism that most individuals use to create cultures that help them to fit in modern societies. One primary factor that influences how individuals prioritize their values is the need to shine in the society. This is achievable through excelling in every life undertaking for example, in jobs and education.
Most individuals place high value on achievement and success; something, which in most cases the society measures by analyzing the levels of education attainment and increase in material wealth. This like a scenario is common in most marriages, as most couples always struggle to advance their careers, as a primary mechanism of developing families. It is important to note that, this is not the case in all marriages, although most research findings show that, increment of earning is one primary advantage of marriages. As Census outcomes on impacts of marriages on the general earning trends of most spouses show, incomes of most spouses living with their children has increased by approximately 59% over the last few years, a figure that contrasts with the reported 44% increment in all households’ earnings (Harden 165). Such an increment results from good marriages, which in most cases act as motivating factors towards success achievement (166); however, does this mean that there are no successful single parents in the society? This is because, the case is contrary in marriages filled with pain and agony, as most spouses in such marriages opt to live private lives; hence, acting as a de-motivating factor. In addition, in most global societies, there exist many single individuals with happy and successful families, a fact that makes many to question the reality behind the argument that, marriage is the primary determinant of a family’s success.
In addition to increment in incomes, as Farrell (159) argues, most spouses in marriages are able to handle different functions they face everyday, as they endeavor to better their lives. This is fact supported by most social observers, as most of them argue that, most American families need mending, because strengthening them is the only mechanism of solving the many societal problems, prevalent in current societies. To mend most of the broken families, there is need to encourage values such as efficiency, practicality, perseverance, and development in families, for they are primary building blocks of any successful marriage.
It is important to note that, although most successful marriages are primary sources of good relationships between parents and their children, which are necessary in development of healthy external relationships, the case is very different in marriages full of uncertainties and agony. This is the case primarily because, cases of child abuse and mistreatments are high in unhappy families, a fact that makes most abused spouses to opt living single lives; for it is the only way of ensuring that their children grow in conducive living environments. On the other hand, although most societal members attribute development of health relationships in children to marriages hence, success in academics and attainment of life dreams, bad marriages can contribute to development of deviant behaviors in children. On the other hand, the argument that financial stability associated with most marriages provides health relationships, necessary for children’s healthy growth is questionable. As Wilson (173) argues, most children brought up in single parent families; more so mother-only homes, are likely to develop deviant behaviors that will cause them trouble even in school when contrasting to children brought up in families with parents living together.
Although this is true, the case is different in families with irresponsible parents and this does not mean that, single parents cannot bring up happy families, because many successful families brought up by single parents are common in all societies.
Determinants of a Successful Marriage
Entering into a marriage agreement is a personal choice, because of the different notions about marriage, held by individuals who either appreciate or despise the marriage institution. For most individuals who a value marriage, sometimes accomplishing this task is very hard, than most of them may perceive it. A successful marriage requires many sacrifices, time and energy; for this are the primary ingredients of any successful marriage. In addition, because of the role played by extended families as far as success of a marriage is concerned, the success of a marriage depends on many other factors, which human beings have no control over.
Such factors include an individual’s nationality, age, ethnicity, sexual orientation, or background. Depending on an individual’s beliefs, these factors can act as either obstacles or promoters of successful marriages, because they are primary determinants of a relationship’s ability to adapt to the surrounding environments. Hence, as Putman (191) argues, perfect lives never exist; all that is required in life is formulation of appropriate mechanisms of dealing with life’s challenges without trepidation or any form of pity.
In conclusion, it is important to note that, to the society, marriage is an institution that should ensure there is continuation of the human species. Although there is a variation in marriage systems between different societies, all global societies acknowledge and support the marriage institution; an institution characterized by sharing of resources and creation of kinship responsibilities, as individuals endeavor to maintain their vows.
As Farrell (162) argues, families are primary controllers of a society’s social order, which commences at conception and ends at death. Therefore, a successful marriage must develop mechanisms of dealing with all societal changes, because changes in life are inevitable. On the other hand, the society should not discriminate people who do not believe in the marriage institution, because such individuals have reasons why they hold such believes.
Farrell, Betty. “Family: Idea, Institution, and Controversy”. The Contemporary Reader. Ed. Gray Goshgarian. New York: Person Longman, 2008. 157-163.
Print. Harden, Blaine. “Numbers Drop for the Married-with-Children.” The Contemporary Reader. Ed. Gray Goshgarian. New York: Person Longman, 2008.
165-172. Print. Putnam, Lowell. “Did I miss something.” The Contemporary Reader.
Ed. Gray Goshgarian. New York: Person Longman, 2008. 189-192. Print.
Sullivan, Andrew. “Why the ‘M’ Word Matters to Me.” The Contemporary Reader. Ed.
Gray Goshgarian. New York: Person Longman, 2008. 197-198. Print. Wilson, James. “The Decline of Marriage.” The Contemporary Reader. Ed.
Gray Goshgarian. New York: Person Longman, 2008. 173-175.