10-16-96 By Rick R. LopezThe American family today, has the same problems that the Americanfamily of yesterday had. Daniel A.
Sugarman, a psychologist in “Family Practice”introduces us to several case studies that seem to be the main nucleus of familyproblems today. He has put together a system called “Seven Ways to Keep thePeace at Home,” in which he describes seven different problems within ourAmerican households today that can cause daily emotional and physical painwithin the family structure. The Seven case studies are based on children’svalues that are driven by their parents emotions. “Giving up the myth of theperfect Family,” is the starting point. This is where the parents low selfesteem is driven into their child. The next step, “Tell it like you feel It,”describes how families should share their feelings and not hold them in. Afterthat comes, “Don’t play telephone”, this is where a third person is used tocommunicate between two parties.
Another step is, “Make your blueprintsFlexible,” you should not pre-plan your child’s life for them. Then he goes intothe next step, which is about Contracts called, “Learn to use contracts.” Withthis step the family makes contracts with one another and then monitors and updates them so often. This helps with everybody holding to their end of the dealwhen it comes to the family issues. One of the worst steps of all is, “Stop the”Good Guy-“Bad Guy, ” routine.
I feel that having someone to blame for everyproblem that arises can devastate a child. Parents need to think about what theyare going to say before they say it. The last step is, “Get rid of old emotionalBaggage,” I have personal experience in this category. I had a hard time inletting go of the old when trying to start new.
These seven steps that Dr. Sugarman has came up with are great ideas indealing with Family problems. Parents are the teachers and kids are the students.Students can only learn by observing and role playing. Parents have toincorporate the daily stresses of life and vent their emotions and adult mattersoutside of the classroom and learn that what they do and say will be the examplethey set for their children.
This will eventually lead to a happier household.Families have to work at being families everyday and always remember that,”Their is no perfect family.”Category: Biographies