Kicking the habit

My eyes flooding with tears, the burn that yours eyes give off when they
have been watering for a long period. I remember the background a blur, my
head spinning. It was as if I was in a different world, some place that
time stands still and the people around you are images voices and blurred
shapes. The calming voices of ‘are you ok’ and ‘just rest here’. Things you
see only stay there for a split second. Then you feel your body slowly
falling, plummeting towards the ground but as your body falls, your brain
stays in the same place still with the same picture in your eyes until you
see your sights silenced by darkness from your eyelids. The only tense left
is your hearing. The voices you hear around you send you in a trance slowly
starting to fall in an eternal slumber. As the voices fade, you slowly head
down the stream of darkness.


That was your memory of the first time you passes out as you say. What then
led you to becoming in the state that you are in now.

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I think it was my friends and the pressure of drinking. I would o to the
party’s and have a shot to calm my nerves to get the courage to ask a girl
for a dance, and after asking say twelve girls to dance I could hardly
stand let alone dance. I would think that drinking and making a prick out
of my self was funny and made people laugh with me. One night I a girl I
was with told me where to shove it when I made a gesture in front of a
girl, and to my surprise she turned round and slapped me and then a wave of
laughter roared around me and I left that party with a label of shame over
my head. Then the next time I got seriously drunk was at my friend’s house
where I decided to see if I could down a bottle of Malibu, which was no
shock I ended up at the local hospital having a hose in my stomach.


When was the time you realise that alcohol was taking control?
I do not think I realised it until one day when my parents found my diary.

They sat me down andtold me how stupid I was. I remember my dad reading
a section that really hit me that it was taking control. The section was in
a space of month. The section started and ended like this:
Monday 5th: I went to Wendy’s house today had fun and I watched the new
movie out
Tuesday 6th: Drank today with Darren
Wednesday 7th: Can’t remember get back to you later
Thursday 8th:
Friday 9th:
Saturday 10th:
Sunday 11th:
This carried on most weeks. I realised that the alcohol was slowly creeping
on my back taking control like a cancer. Then drinking became a daily
thing. I always took a quick shot before school and down to the pub for an
after school beer. My grades suffered the most. I went from a grade a
student to a boy that spent most of his day behind the bike shed reading
magazines. I think the scariest moment at this point was me drowning my
poor marks with drink, but I was drinking for the fact that was the only
resort I had. It was then I realised that my school career was at the
brink.


How was it that you resorted to your mothers help?
I think it was only my mother that had the courage to try to do something
about my problem. My farther just became angry and at one point disowned
me. I felt that the one person I look up to is the person that has left me.

My mother only made me go to this programme in the only way I would of,
which was a bribe. My mother offered me, a brand new Mini if I could last
twelve months. I agreed, and soon as I did I felt a rush of heavenly good
go through my bones.


When you were quitting the alcohol, what did it feel like?
The first week off the juice was hell. My body felt empty and my head was
crashing down. I went through cold turkey quite quickly though. One person
that helped the most was cannabis addict. He told me to find a replacement
to drinking, his was eating, but from the state of him, I did not want

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